I'm sorry you're feeling this much pain (physically and emotionally). Love and light to you, Jim. I hope some how and some way even a moment of peace will reach you during this holiday.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies