For me the boundary would be "wanting to see him" I don't see much difference in her seeing OM and her wanting to see OM. Either way he is in your marriage.
Well there is a big difference!! You can't put a boundary on what runs through her head! What do you think the withdrawal is? That is what she is thinking and wanting. But having the strength to not act on it......is what counts. Every time she denies herself, the more she withdraws from the addiction. Same as with a drug. At first that is all the addict thinks about. You have to keep thinking of her as an addict. She will crave it, but give her credit if she does not cave under the pressure.
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I believe love works best when it is freely given. She feels suffocated which proves she doesn't feel she is free to give it...
Oh good lord. Of course she feels smothered. That is why we told you to not crowd her. I want you to get this.......She is still a WAW in heart. She is trying to do the right thing by returning to her H, but her feelings have to have time to straighten out. It took four months of pretty intense withdrawal from my A, and i had help from this board. She doesn't have that much. Yet you are whining about her not freely giving you love? She is not the only one who is thinking about themselves.
I don't know what you expected. We tried to tell you. Things just don't fall back to normal in a few weeks. If you can't rixe this out, then you need to release her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
