OK. Much happening around the old homestead. What with Christmas almost upon us, as sad as this one will be.
My W has been telling my D15 that her sister and I will be included in any plans for Christmas day. I have had my doubts as she hasn't said anything to me about it and told that to my D15. Her response was that I was wrong to think that and her mother had better not not include me or she would let her "have it" (whatever that means to a 15 year old). Well, yesterday we come to find out that W has changed her mind as it now seems that I am not going to be invited. Her plans seem to be for me to pick up D19 after she is done working and take her and D15 to MIL's for dinner after W is done work. After that MIL, W and both girls are going to go to W's so they all can wake up for Christmas day together, open presents, etc. She has told me that she will meet me late Christmas night when she takes D19 back to the city to give D15 back to me (it's my week).
I think W waited to tell D15 so she wouldn't have a chance to protest or try and talk her out of it. Of course it was wrong of her to let D15 think otherwise like she did. How mean and selfish. Of course I didn't plan anything because W let me know since I spent TG with the girls, Christmas was HER thing. Both the girls have been getting more and more talkative about how tried they are of their mothers antics. D15 is especially angry lately and complains about how her mother can't seem to talk to her about anything. All she gets from her mother is complaints. She says she has been acting very stressed and is always "acting weird".
When my D's complain about their mother, I don't comment. I let them speak their minds and just listen and say I'm sorry that this is happening. I try to use the DB principals and just validate and listen. Yesterday my D15 said something that really took me by surprise. She said that she really wants me to be happy. That she knows that I'm not ready yet but that some day I will find someone new, someone to love that loves me back and treats me well. That she knows that I would have done anything to make W happy, to work out the problems in our M and that her mother refused and that I deserve love in my life. That she hates to see me so alone. She added that whoever it was had better treat me right and be approved of by her! She also said that she doesn't want the same for her mom. That her mom doesn't deserve to have someone in her life that treats her well as she had that and threw it away. She said her mom said the other day that she may start to date again and it made her angry. She said the thought of me dating doesn't make her angry and even thinks it's time I started! I told her that I would never date anyone who I had any question that they didn't like her and her sister and understood that the two of them will always be a priority and is OK with that. She told me that she knows that right now "You're a bit cynical when it comes to love and romance" (this is a pretty sharp 15 year old folks!) but that she wants me to get over that and "Really be happy again".
Wow. I was shocked and so many emotions went through me. I was proud of her, touched by her, worried for her but I know I must be doing something right to have a D like her who loves me this much. It was the best Christmas gift she could ever have given me and I needed it right about now. The lawyer called and said that the final meeting to try and come to an agreement is on 12/30 at 10:15 AM. The day after my first test and 6 days before my 2nd. W is bound and determined to end our M ASAP...this year is her goal. I have so much to do before than and need to not have to think about that. I need to study, not be thinking about what I'm willing to give up or how to defend my position on things. But none of that matters. Only what SHE wants matters. Heck, not even what her D's want or is best for them matters to her...only she and what she wants matters and she isn't willing to wait for it either.
Looks like a lonely Christmas day for me, folks. And because I thought that I was going to be with the kids at least part of the day, it's too late to make other plans. I'm going to make the best of it though. It helps knowing that my D's love me and know how much I care about them. At least I have THAT going for me!
