I thought everything was okay...(Part 2)

[MCS]

But we should share our feelings with our spouse, good or bad. And not wait with it. That is our responsibility, that's what we promised each other.
If we fail doing that it can only go downhill. It's a connection we need. Honesty trust and respect!
If the spouse isn't doing this we have to take responsibility and be in charge.

Thanks for this hope your Xmas is good also.

So during an early counseling before I knew about OM, my W said to me that she knew exactly how I felt in the M. I would tell her how I felt, what was good, what was bad and so on. I fired back (wrong move) that that's why I thought she was telling me how she felt. I thought we were both telling each other. That's how M should be and I see that is as a couple did not share that on her side. That's where my complacency really messed things up, since I felt okay, I assumed she did. In the remote case I asked or she seemed upset, the emotional trust wasn't there for her to speak her mind. As the year went by and she was more entrenched in the A, I'm guessing it further divided us emotionally.