Maybell XXV: Moving Toward the Lighthouse

[Maybell]

Ok, Betsey, Labug... I've been contemplating your messages this evening.

It is SO weird that XBF would email tonight when I haven't spoken to him even one word since 3 years before I met H. And then I thought of what I wrote right above about XBF and how I totally shoved that gigantic ball of poo under the rug and never really dealt with it, and maybe somehow the universe is directing my attention there with this strange email. (So strange I thought it must be a prank.)

I need to think on that. Some of it hurts so deeply I don't even want to write about it. Which I know will shock you given how much I've spilled my guts. There's definitely stuff there to be dealt with.

I am Teflon. I felt threatened by what my H said. But now I feel zen again. I have a couple of plans in mind so I think I'll be ok.

Betsey your message on RPP's thread was very generous. I'm sorry for the pain of losing your brother and thank you to you and Labug for your generosity in helping me and others keep it together, especially over the holidays.

I have an appointment with a new IC, but I may backburner that till S8 gets some therapy, because he's actually requested it.

I hope someday I'm like the two of you.