[BrightFuture]

Job, you are so right, I’m very close to exploding. I’ve trying very hard to keep it under control. Obviously, I have an issue to deal with, the in-laws. I always felt that I was a second class citizen to them, an immigrant. You are also right about the “bragging” part. It has always been H’s oldest brother’s signature behavior, sometimes to the extreme.

H’s presence in town has always been a trigger. No matter how well I prepare myself, it is always the time when I cannot decide how I want to handle this. I haven’t told him that I will drop the mail to his brother’s. I’m still thinking about it, until tomorrow. I have the house decorated for the holidays, I have a tree and the lights. I would not mind H seeing this. It was never his thing to decorate the house, because he was always a mister Grinch at Christmas time. He did it for me and my son, plus we always celebrated New Years, so his excuse was that he was doing all that for the New Years. He always bought a Christmas tree one day before Christmas, and they were also on sale at that time. So, we got to enjoy the tree for a week or two. For the last couple of years I’ve changed that, and I bought the tree earlier, so I could enjoy it longer.

So, back to the decorations and lights… If H changed his mind and signed up on the Facebook, who knows what else is different. Maybe he will see the house and feels something missing in his life... IDK. Wishful thinking, I guess. I don’t know if it is the hope that is still barely existing inside of me, or I just want to rub it in H’s face that I’ve been doing great without him.

I’m driving to the vacation home tomorrow. I’m invited for the desert tour on Thursday and to Christmas dinner at my friends. I’m going to have a good time! And I will see how I feel about the mutual friends.

Merry Christmas, everybody!