Lots to answer. First off forgive if this ended up being choppy I'm replying in my phone. To start with in terms of why I cheated on her back in 2007... Short anwser... I believe it had a lot to do with PTSD. When I say that is sounds like a cop out... I absolutely know how wrong it was and believe that in the end it definitely contributed to the problems in our marriage. I also have come to terms with the fact that after my deployment I really struggled with depression, only I wouldnt admit it. This contributed to me being a pretty selfish man, and trip up and failed my wife in a lot of different ways. She spent a lot of time over the last few years trying g her best to prop me up and deal with my depressed side.
When the proverbial S&$t hit the fan last year, I finally could see for the first time how much of a mess I have been. I gurss its like MWD says in her books in videos, and action happened and I fianly took notice. I have subsequently taken care of my depression, I'm sure in ways it is still there, but I have a much better hold on it then I ever have.
In terms of is she going through a midlife crisis? In a way I kinda wonder if that is true. She says she is not happy, that being married to me has sucked the life out of her. And now that she is looking at D she is finally feeling like she can find herself again. I do believe she is depressed. I also wonder if she is completely addicted to being online.
On my side I have definitely been GAL, it's a work in progress with two little ones, but I'm learning to define myself without her. I am still learning to detach more. I'm finding that a bit hard from time to time.
I have seen some progress we have started talking a bit more. We agreed to spend the Christmas holidays together with the kids, and at various grandparents. I'm not sure if that is right or wrong. There has been little to no talk in D since the first of this month. She appears to have put on hold moving out too, but I think that was under the advisement of her lawyer.
I am hopeful that we can figure this out. I have been reading a lot of the other posts on here. I finally got around to joining and actually posting this week. Thanks again for any advice and support.
M:34 W:34 D:8 D:5 M:10 T:15 BD: 10/10/14 D filed: 10/21/14 PA/EA:09/2013 EA:09/2014 - on going (online)
