barely holding on - 6

[HPoirot]

Hey u-turn. Sorry about your text exchange. I can only tell you what I do... don't respond. Really... that exchange you just had... just don't answer at all. Then she may have called. Don't answer. Let her come to you. Stop answering her.

My W threatened to leave many many times. She would do this whenever I acted up like you just did. She would do this to get me to back down. Every time I would look her in the eye say "I don't want a separation. But I'm not going to stand in your way." Don't look sad. One time I did say "Let me know when you're leaving so I can plan." I looked happy when I said that. I think that was better. Every time she backed down and stayed b/c she had no real plan. I would say something like that every time she talks about leaving.

I would not fight her on her leaving. Call her bluff if it's a bluff. Whatever it is, I would say "Let me know when you're leaving so I can plan." Then start acting like she's leaving. This puts you in charge of your life. You are planning. You are moving ahead. Whatever she does is minor compared to what you're doing. That's your attitude. (I'm answering my own questions here so thank you u-turn.) You tell where this goes... not time and not her.

You may know this... I am not doing Christmas with my W. She wants to do it together and has begged me many times to. My choice not to and I say it calmly to her face. I'm going to have a special Christmas manly morning with my son b/c it's best for me and him. I'll not act happy family with a W who continues to show us such disrespect. My son knows his mom has done us wrong and knows this is my decision. He'll then go with his M and let her play supermom and make up for her mistake buying him a ton of gifts.

Your wife is having an A and wants you to just roll over and deal with it. She doesn't get your support or validation anymore. You were not wrong to show displeasure even if you could have been more direct. She tested you on that with her texting and you're talking about how you appreciate her effort to keep things normal. If you're honest... you see what she did... using the kids... why can't you just fall in line... guilting you.

She is manipulating you and you told her you are trying to keep things normal and appreciate her efforts which is what she wanted to hear. Things are not normal. She made sure of that. Don't play her plan. She has ruined your family holiday and wants you... and only you... to deal with it.

She will wait to hear you say don't go. I would start acting now like she's leaving and then look forward to it.