It does seem that your W is moving towards your M, not away. I also agree that the transparency issue is tricky. I know everyone on the boards says it is the only way to reconcile. How can there be trust without transparency. My W also refuses to provide it but yet says she wants our M to work.
I also agree about letting your mind get carried away. I do the same thing.
Ultimately, transparency is necessary to move you back to trusting your W. Without it, can you ever heal? Maybe, but it will take years. I think we both are in potentially very destructive/unhealthy relationships where we could get hurt. We are spending time with our Ws, having fun, laughing, etc. Is that cake eating? I don't think so. As you said, your W is working through her own demons but at least she is trying to do it with you.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed
