I've also been thinking about other financial issues: she put down the down payment and bought her bed and D2's bed back when we were sharing finances. In fact, I cut back to the bare essentials due to her apt and extra expenses. When I go to move into my apt, I will have to spend all of that on my own. Shouldn't she owe me some money, especially with her $2,000 deposit being half mine? On top of that, we recently finished paying off her $36,000 car, but I still have $10,000 of debt on my car, which apparently she is expecting me to pay the rest by myself. I haven't brought any of this up to her because I didn't want to rock the boat any closer to D than I had to. If it actually gets to that point, I will need to address it. Neither of us want to go the lawyer route, because we don't enough enough assets to squabble over and don't want to waste that money on lawyers.
Hi Card - I always feel like I have to weigh on on the practical stuff. I'm not sure what state you live in but if you haven't already you should read up on the divorce law there.
For example, I live in California, and they basically add up all the marital assets and add up all the marital debts and split them equally (if it gets adversarial and ends up with a judge). So, in your example - regardless of the fact that you are the one taking your car - she would still be responsible for $5000 of the debt. You don't have to go down the route of going to court - but having a good idea of what might happen if you did is a good bargaining chip to settle things between the two of you. As to the deposit money- it depends on how nitpicky you want to get. Right now, as long as you are living comfortably - I would keep very good financial records (and make sure you archive any records you have from prior to the separation).
