W is often apologetic for the mess we're in, but I don't feel a lot of genuine remorse from her. Maybe it's my own defenses, but I think she's also deep in he dopamine fantasy where she can rationalize anything. She also resents the hell out of me for my role in our M sitch. I think that's what hurts as much as anything, that this formerly big-hearted woman who once called me her soulmate doesn't feel much genuine warmth towards me, even when she's outwardly affectionate. I hope I'm mind-reading a little bit here. I'd like to think she's more conflicted than she seems. She acts like I don't deserve to be angry with her for her unfaithfulness, because I was such a lousy husband. How do we work past that?
I could use some help with that, myself. I feel very abandoned by BF and the only thing I'm seeing is an outward display of "I don't care" from him. He even tells friends things like, "I know I cheated on her, but you have to understand....". Um....no.
I can't imaging doing the things he's done in the way he's done them after all the time we spent together as friends, confidants and lovers without feeling some sense of guilt or remorse. But he's doing it.
You work past it one day at a time, though. No matter how your sitch (or my sitch) plays out. Let go of the things you can and work on the most important bits in small bite-sized pieces.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
