There is nothing you can do right now!!! This ALL about him! ... so please fight back the urge to take control and confront him.
Everything you describe in your recent posts lead me to believe your H is looking at himself in the mirror and has reallized that his life has gone from bad to worse in his eyes. He's currently convinced himself that the direction he has taken up to now has totally screwed up any chance of getting back any of the happiness he once had. He feels he has now tainted that despite anything you do to show him otherwise.
He is in the midst of his journey, has discovered he is in a dark hole far outside your reach. He is gonna have to figure a way to pull himself out of it.
All you can do is to let him know you are willing to wait for him a the top by showing unconditional love, that you are there for him. In the meantime, as he stands there in the hole, focus your efforts on yourself. You need to avoid withering away waiting for him. I feel how tiresome you are. Take a break. Learn to dance to your own tune while waiting. Nurture yourself.
