"I kick myself because I cannot stop thinking of what I want. I fight myself against telling her that I still love her and can forgive her. I can put my anger aside"
I imagine you are in a lot of pain to say this^^^. The beginning is the hardest part. The fear will get you. We all been through it. You do not seem to be following Sandi's 37 rules? I strongly recommend that you do. Stop fighting her. Stop fighting yourself. Time to look and feel strong. You must show strength. If she senses any weakness from you she will use that to rationalize her affair and decision to leave you. If she is living under the same roof you should have strong boundaries regarding OM. Do you have any in place?
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
