Little but FIERCE (Little's Thread #4)

[Little]

The fact that you can say that^^^ tells me you are more together than you think.

Me, I fight the urge to drive my truck into a bridge support most every day. Not that I would do something silly like that and leave my kids all alone. Besides, I don't like pain all that much and I just spent waaayyy too much money putting that stupid truck back together. But the feeling is there.

I would be a wreck if I found pictures like that.

Oh, wait. I'm already a wreck, lol.

I definitely know how you feel. There have been days where I wished a hole would open up in the Earth and take me down. I don't call it "suicidal" because I'd never do harm to myself; but if I could be put down like a cat or go to sleep and never wake up, I'd sign up for that in a heartbeat. I've prayed and begged for it.

Believe it or not, it's normal. It's a response to more stress and emotion than you have coping ability at the moment. The trick is to find the coping ability and the methods that make this sort of thing lessen. That's why we come here and read DB books.

This site (and exploring my spirituality in Buddhism) has been so invaluable to me pulling myself out of the hole -- even if it's just to come and vent and sound like an idiot while I work through my chit. LOL

Little - You are faking together pretty well in my opinion.

Thanks. People at work say so, too. I've been told more than once that I have "no negativity" and I'm so "sassy and bubbly" and while that's certainly true of my core personality, I'm SO FAKING IT these days. LOL