Let's try this again

[woundedfool]

I've laid low on this decision -- I told him not to feel pressured into either decision and to make what he feels is best for him and our family and we will support him either way.

I think that was a perfect answer, I would not have answered it any different.

My IC tells me for every negative there should be 5 positives...

I like this as a thought, and maybe its why I am not a counselor.... but I would be careful not to get too hung up on the actual ratio, for me 2:1 would be a great direction.

I fear my H got off too easy and what is to stop him from this happening again in the future.

*please note* I am NOT dismissing your feelings, they are quite warranted, and understandable. But I want you to take a quick perspective from him (regarding the "got off too easy"):

You can carry that view, but... what if the view is: I had a really great marriage and great wife, a great family, and I absolutely squandered it away (much like someone hitting the lottery going into bankruptcy). I need to work very hard every day because my angel of a spouse has given me a second chance.

It still stings to hear people say things like I can't believe it after all he did and how could you forgive him,

A very simple (and try not to be confrontational about it) answer is: Well getting a divorce is easy... any moron with $3000.00 can do it. Love, forgiveness and WORK are priceless.

People ask what's to stop him from doing this again...

If you feel like engaging: "Well, whats to stop ME from doing it"?

I hope everyone has a happy holiday and know that I am thankful for all of you

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa, Festive Festivus!