The Dance of Pursuit and Distance (new)

[GoatGal]

Hey job,

I have the book, and H is a distancer, emotionally, sexually, and in every other way. I am also not a "pursuer" although I do crave closeness.

My problem is that the more I distance myself from H, the LESS he reaches out to me. He appears to enjoy my little attempts to touch base (no expectations, no strings, easy out for him) but NEVER reciprocates.

If I pull back (still a "friendly neighbor"), it *feels* like his feelings get hurt and he gets sulky and passive-aggressive. He *seems* to take it as rejection.

I've been at this DBing about six months now, and it hasn't changed. I've played around with different levels of darkness (nicely), but he NEVER pursues.
Ever.

He never really pursued me when we first met, and OW threw herself at him---a "sure thing". I am certain it would have never happened otherwise.

Any advice for me? We just are stuck in limbo, the limbo of both of us playing nice but nothing really happening.

Changes have been very, very slow and small. And I'm not sure if in the end, they are meaningful.

Thanks,

---GGG