The book of Lou - Chapter 2

[job]

I'm very glad you arrived safely, but that jet lag is a killer.

I think you are handling the questions very well and if you don't want to talk about it, then don't. You'll know when you want to open up and right now, you are still finding your footing. No need to rehash it over and over again.

Walking on the beach is soothing and I think you'll be visiting the beach quite often in the days ahead. I can understand your desire to travel back to NZ and you will find the right spot to live, you do not need to rush into making a decision right now.

As for your MIL, yes, her son is happy. He's happy because he thinks he's found the illusive happiness, but 6 moths from now, it will not be enough to keep him happy because the shine will have worn off of it. They all give the impression that they are happy for a period of time, but eventually things change.

Give yourself some time. All of this mlc stuff is new to you and the wounds are fresh. Healing takes time and their will be many memories that will surface as reminders of what you once had. The emotions will stir, feel them and then release them. This is part of the healing process. You are going to have days where you don't have any enthusiasm for life, but this too shall pass. Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep your expectations at zero or very low. Nothing says you have to be happy all of the time and you have the right to feel the way that you do and do not listen to what others have to say because they do not understand what you are going through.

I'm not surprised that you didn't hear from your h. He's off in his own little world playing w/different masks and it may be a while before you do hear from him. Don't expect much from him right now.

You've got a clean page to write a new chapter in your life. The words will come, don't force them. For now, take care of yourself and most importantly, be kind to yourself.