Barrybran - A Year On

[Barrybran]

I was thrown another curveball today. My wife's friend offered to look after the kids while I was at work so when I dropped them around, she brought up Christmas details as we have both been working through my wife and everyone has different information about the day.

Once we cleared up the plans, I raised with her the conversation I'd had with my wife on Sunday about things I'd said that had gone around a circle and back to me with some untruths. I said that whatever had been said between my wife and her friend was between them but that being the central figure in my kids lives now, that I was trying to work more closely with my wife's friend and her mother, as for all intents and purposes, they are family and I had failed to do so in the past.

We had a brief deep and meaningful about the situation, not my relationship with my wife, but the dynamic between all of us and how it would affect relationships, particularly as relationships will change when the kids and I move. To her credit, she listened and expressed her thoughts without berating me, which she would have had every reason to do so, particularly given what I'd put my wife through.

I felt a lot better after the chat. Whilst I have to be careful what I say to her and her mother, it's taken me a long time to understand that they too are family and that whilst I had previously tried to segregate them, they are an important part of my kids' and wife's lives and I would like to rebuild my relationships with them as much as I would with my wife. I can't blame them if they keep me at arms distance given the way I have treated them but they have been excellent so far since my wife has been away.