I wasn't ignoring her but I was so deep into a spiral of being pushed away and getting frustrated
and here is more proof of the similarities we all face. I could have so easily written this (assuming i havent somewhere)
Originally Posted By: Edz
I know we have different scenarios but a lot of the WAS playbook sure does track on all of our experiences it seems (this is indeed covered in the books).
In someways an actual playbook my be a useful resource.
Like your saying one of the things i'm often doing is trying to identify how i could have been different/better to work on these issues rather than expecting her to change(aint hindsight brilliant!!!!) For example:
when she said she wasnt comfortable with a baby sitter then i could have made much more effort to do romantic things at home. instead i just felt the rejection and didnt bother.
when she recoiled from hugs, or made her 'no sex' excuse (usually 'i dont feel well'), instead of snapping 'I just wanted a hug' and slinking off all hurt. I should have said something more caring and positive.
Most importantly I should have paid attention to all the things she was doing and shown appreciation for this rather than resenting the stuff she wasn't.
The only downside for my narrative is that i then beat myself up about this and go into a 'no wonder shes leaving' / 'why would she ever come back' spiral. This is the bit i need to find a way to tackle
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
