Riding the rollercoaster

[PeterV2]

I agree with U-turn. First become the best man you can be. Don't go looking for another relationship. First of all it won't be fair to your new partner, having to live in the wake of the disintegrating marriage. Believe me, I've been there, done that and it doesn't bode well for the new relationship.

If you need to, tell your W to move out, so you can get on with your life. Even help her find an apartment or something. You shouldn't be to one to leave. You need to take care of the kids. If she chooses to leave the marriage then she'll have to deal with the consequences of her actions.