Big question and moral delimma

[Complex]

Your thread sounds like a big mess. I'm very sorry to hear, and now she is just blaming you. It sounds like she is very bitter. And I think bitterness is one of our worst enemies in a D situation. Because bitterness will change us, for the very worst, but if your heart gets shattered in a million pieces it's also one of the hardest to overcome. I wouldn't reply on anything that includes blaming.
Did both of you see a therapist/counselor together ever? Maybe it would help to talk to someone again and set some rules for communication for both of you.
But I'm not an expert by any means...still learning my own cra p