Ganb8te 3 - conquering crow pose

[gan]

He is sad but feeling hopeless. So how can we get him to have some hope?
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What do you think about employing my previous style of ideas now?
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Well, those are just my few cents of thoughts. Probably worthless.
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I hope you are not feeling too down the next day. These emotional conversations can leave me feeling so sad the next day.

Thanks, Lisa. Your few cents are priceless to me! I'm not sure that I'm ready to execute your list just yet but believe me, it is still in my back pocket and I intend to pull it out once I feel like he is ready for that.

As for today, I'm ok. Didn't sleep well but I'm generally ok. I'm happy with how things went last night (from a DB perspective anyway). I should have validated more. It's easy for me to fall back into old patterns and think "but he didn't say much that I could validate". I need to look for those moments. This is my biggest weakness I think, and something I really need to work on.

I need to trust in this process and let him walk his own path through this. One thing that he did say (and which I forgot to mention last night) was something to the effect of "Ganbatte made many mistakes, and H made even more mistakes." That's the first time that he's acknowledged that a) we played a role in the course of events (i.e. it wasn't just a natural process) and b) we BOTH played a role in the course of events. So it seems he is working his way through this (perhaps with the therapist).

My plan from here:
1. Txt him the details about the book tomorrow morning. I agree Lisa that I should just drop the name and leave it at that. He can decide if he wants to read it. Apropos the comment above about validation I may switch to email instead and throw in a "Thanks for sharing your feelings. I know that it can be difficult" or something to that effect. Ideas?
2. Not going to contact him again til on or after 6 Jan (his birthday) and only then say "Happy birthday, H. I hope you had a great day."
3. Wait for him to initiate contact (most likely February, based on the conversation above)