Married fast? Too late? Completely stuck :/

[Complex]

I did.
Now she keeps telling me that our marriage only exists on paper. That's it's a piece of paper. It's hurting so bad. I think it's so disrespectful. I'm crushed every single time I talk to her or see her I think. Her pure presence hurts sooo bad. I love her so much.
Before I met her I never thought I'll get married. She is the love of my life. I had long relationships before. The day I thought she is the woman of my life and my children I went in with full heart, with all I have and to honor our vows as long as I'm around, be her best friend and supporter and make her happy no matter what. I was never ever that serious about something in my life. And I thought she was thinking the same. I always had a feeling we are on the same level. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. And I know exactly if we get divorced I will probably never get fully over it. I will drag around my broken heart for a long time. I'm afraid of becoming bitter. I can not find words to describe my pain.

She told me we have time, there's no rush in divorcing and that we are friends. And that she's going to help me to stay and build my life hear if I want that.
I'm afraid time is going to kill me instead of going to help me.