still holding on - 5

[u-turn]

I don't think anything good would ever come from me contacting OM. In part of my old panic-mode pre-dbing ways, I thought about this (and many different scenarios). Likely, I would just feel humiliated after. He is obviously not going to be affected by me if he is not affected by his smiling wife and 4 kids. I also hardly ever feel better about anything by just getting something off of my chest.

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Had lunch with S17 today, he asked some questions about mom, dad & S20. I explained a little about what's happening (not about mom & dad). He really doesn't care if S20 comes home. says he's being a "d-bag" anyway and has no right to act that way. He thinks that his mom and I have "really seemed to have worked things out" and he "feels good about it."

He has no idea of what's coming - that kills me.