WAH - gone almost 1 year, still so hard.

[swoop]

The changes I've made over the last few months have been around insecurity and jealousy issues I had during our M. I have not mentioned the OW since I first saw them together in July. I have not asked him about his life or his plans. I have not been been needy and I try to remain positive when he's around. I always try an look my best. I have become super-fit and train 4 times a week - the difference in how I look and hold myself is amazing.

Great job! Keep up the good work. You deserve to hold yourself up high, because you ARE amazing. Always tell yourself that. If husband chooses to see it, lucky for him. If he chooses not too, We all feel bad for that poor fellow.

I honestly do not know if he has noticed any of this. I figure he must have. But he has not mentioned it, or asked any questions about me or my life. He just does not seem interested in me at all.

He HAS noticed, but he isn't willing to believe it....yet. You have to keep consistent and make your changes stick. Even long after, you feel the changes you have made are permanent, he will still be questioning if it's an act. Keep working on yourself, always working on yourself.

I continue to hope he will get fed up with the OW and the excitement will wear off, or that he will come to realise that what we had was actually quite good.

He most likely will become tired of the OW, or she of him. That is usually the way these things work. What he probably won't realize though, is that you marriage was quite good. Clearly it wasn't, or you wouldn't be here today. That is why we work on our personal growth and fix as many of our poor character traits as we can. Your old marriage is effectively dead. It is in the past, so give it a hug and let it go. Tomorrow is what you are working towards

I do go out with friends and have been asked out on a couple of dates, but the thought just repels me at the moment.

Don't worry about dating. Your happiness doesn't hinge on anyone but yourself. Keep going out, and keep staying active. You will accept a date when you're ready, or you won't. What you will do for sure, by continuing to GAL, is save yourself. If you want to be happy, get out there and find your happy place.

Everybody tells me to move on and forget him, and I tell them if it was that easy I would have done it 6 months ago.

Stacey, this is your timeline, nobody else's. Just stay positive and work through things as they come. That rope will drop when you least expect it. I guarantee it