3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[devotee]

Things have been very hard for me this week. H decided to be mean for a bit, saying he can't handle me living here while I have feelings for another man. He told me he was going to AZ for a week and I needed to move out. There is no way I could move 18 years of stuff or find a place that quick. Then he felt bad and said he won't kick me out but that I needed to at least hurry and not talk about the OM or text him in front of H. He also started accepting most the blame for these last 8 months since BD. He's sayng all the right things, that he never stopped loving me, that he'll eat crow to save us, that he's proud of me for bring a DJ, that he wants to be with me forever. He cried and cried, blamed everything on a chemical imbalance in him and that he finally was balancing out again. He left for AZ and left a beautiful picture of us on my pillow. He keeps texting calling me his petname for me, sending links to romantic songs, telling me his family misses me and that they're going to come get me so we can all spend Xmas together. I told him no, that I need to repair myself. That I don't believe he's changed and that he'll still hate my DJing and friends. He says I'm his wife, he tried to friend me on Facebook and my friends said he changed his status back to married.
I'm at a total loss of what to do right now. I am so happy and deep in love with OM right now. He is basicly my dream guy and brings out feelings I never knew existed. We are so caught up in our whirlwind beginning stages, and on Cloud 9. All I can think about is him and how he has woken me up from what has been a loveless marriage for some time. I told OM last night I wasn't sure what I am doing. I am in love with him, but I still care for my H and am worried I may be in the wrong for not giving H a second chance. But I don't want to lead them both on. He said he's willing to wait for me and give me space but all I want to do is be around him.
Do I choose to be with a man who seems to be perfect for me and connects with me in a way I never thought possible? Or do I choose my H of 18 years who is still very much in his MLC and might just continue the cycle of our very strained marriage?