You can't and you probably don't want to go that path of controlling again. Lose it for good. You have been learning some stuff here, so used the knowledge to your benefit. Don't be anxious that you can't control, instead just let go and don't be anxious at all.
I know it is not easy, but I think you need to work on detaching in a very serious way now. It will make you feel better and you will be able to manage your life for yourself to enjoy it.
For me, it is hard do not call, text or contact my H in anyway. I don't even know why. I think about him, get all the ups and downs when I see or talk to him, but I refuse to go after him.
I am not the one the checked out of the M, he is. So, if he wants to find me he knows where.
And, at the beginning of my sitch I was struggling with GAL activities, balance and self steam, but as time went by I feel better every day. My mentor is Labug, I love her way of seeing life and the choices she made when she was where we are now.
It has helped me and is helping me to look up to someone that manage to survive all the drama. And she even got the big prize.
Just and idea: Maybe you want to go back and do another GAL list. Review your goal as in your new situation now.
And try to detach as much as you can. It helps you the most and maybe will help your sitch. Believe me, the more you transform, the more attractive you become, and eventually your H will know about.
Don't worry about him, he will need to fight his own demons for awhile, then routine will set in again and he may end up empty, what is the case most of the time when you are looking to tackle the world of adventures.
Take good care after yourself, you are the most important right now.
