I have a question on this topic. I was always the Distancer in the M, especially the end. I would play hard to get and pull away (physically and emotionally) which was one of my H's complaints. Wouldn't it be a 180 to be the pursuer for once? I am afraid that continuing to be the Distancer might just continue to push him away?
Well basic DB'ing says that you can try it - monitor the results and adjust accordingly.
So if you re-read the posts that I put on the pursuit and distance thread, you will see that everyone is either a pursurer or distancer in different traits.
What you may be saying above is that you distanced and then your husband pursued.
Re-read the traits, is there anything that you pursued and he distanced?
For instance "TRUST: Tends to be naive about relationships. Optomistic about other's motives. Overly trusting; frequently taken advantage of."
or
"SENSE OF RESPOSIBILITY:Overly responsible; Assumes to much resposibility for the relationship. Assumes solution is in their power with sufficient effort. Most comfortable emotionally(although not truly happy) when tending to others. Tends to infantilze others. Is a "rescuer""
