You will remember in our last episode of AS the MLC World spins... H was in the area for work. We met last Wednesday night at a Hotel and it was wonderful. He even sent me a page that he was excited to see me!
On Thursday he called to say that he was on his way to a hotel that is about an hour away from me. AND very close to exOW. He said I was welcome to come and join him. So I pack some more things and off to meet him. I didn't get there until about 8:00 and he was talking with someone from work about work stuff. We were both pretty tired so not a lot of talking just . Then to sleep. VERY nice
It is still up in the air in my mind as to what is happening over the weekend. We had planned on being together over the weekend and at one point he said he wasn't sure if he would just stay in CA to be together, or go up to Seattle. He also now has a roommate staying with him. This guy used to work for him here in CA and decided to move to Seattle to fill a position that H has. H is a wonderful manager and so this guy moved to continue to work for H. We have known this guy for many years, prior to the sep. He was also married at the time. He has since D. H was telling me that guy will be out of town all weekend, so we would have the condo all to ourselves.
In good DB fashion, I did not even mention the weekend on Fri morning. I had to get up and leave much earlier than he did as I had the hour drive to get to work. Friday afternoon H calls and says that he is on his way to the airport. He says that he if feeling like he has a lot of things he needs to get done this weekend, but that he wants to see me. Getting a house and getting he work in order are taking a lot of his energy right now.
I told him that I understand and that it was up to him. I didn't want to cause any pressure and that if it worked that was great, and that I did want to see him. But if it didn't work out, not to worry H I will not be sitting around bored.
Then H says well how about if you come up and you can go around on Sat and look at new houses for me. Go to the models and see what is good in different areas. He will go out with his agent and then we can meet in the evening and spend time together. That he did have to work for a couple hours on Sunday. OK H that is a plan! I'm back to packing more stuff and off to the airport.
H picks me up and just seems distant. This continues all the way to the condo. It is very late by now and we just get ready for bed. He is just laying there. I ask if he is sleeping, (I can tell he isn't but he isn't snugglie either. We ALWAYS snuggle while in bed) He says no, just thinking. I ask what he is thinking about and he says everything. I give him a light kiss and tell him that I am a good listener and turn over and go to sleep. In the morning he is back to being snugglie and I tell him that is nice, better than last night. H say "I know, sometimes I just get overwhelmed." H says that he is thinking about using his benefits from work and seeing a C. I said Oh. I told him out the concept of solution based and that it seems to make a lot of sense. He asked if I thought he should go. I told him that I could FEEL the energy from him last night and that it was not warm and fuzzy. He asked if I had felt warm and fuzzy before and I said yes. He said, "good, I thought I had lost it." I didn't ask what that meant, either his ability to create warm and fuzzy or WANTING to make ME warm and fuzzy????
We did sort of get into a bit of an OW talk. That if I was coming up there, there was nothing to stop someone else from coming up. H said he is not brining women home. H did NOT want to have that conversation... DAHH. Kept changing the subject. Not in a bad way and we were keeping it light and fun. He said that he does not know what I do on the weekends and that even if I tell him something, what is to say that it is the truth.
I also found a christmas card OW gave H. Saying that she is looking forward to many more holiday seasons together. Found a key chain that she had given him that was engraved with the message that her heart was all locked up Love OW. And a picture of her in a frame. the picture was upside down in the bottom drawer, but why would you keep any of this stuff if it was over???
I know, BAD me for snooping. I couldn't resist and did turn the picture over so the back was showing in the frame.
Sunday night we are snuggling in bed and H asked me why I still love him. I tell him and then ask him why he still loves me. He says "its a seceret". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??
I tell him that I am not shareing my life with anyone else. I feel like I am not the only one in his life. Am I the only one in your life? H shakes his head yes.
Those were the only icky parts of the weekend. The rest of the time we had fun. On Sunday we were out eating breakfast and looking at the Sunday paper. He was pulling out the sections that he wanted to read. He hands me the employment section and says "here, look for a job".
On Monday morning as we were leaving for the airport, roommate was in his bathroom. H goes out and says that he needs to close the door. Roommate was confused and H says that he has a visitor. Roommate was SHOCKED. H told him that it was me. This I think, was a big thing. Roommate knew me from prior to separation and must have known OW. Now I'm back. H was chuckling over roommates reaction and that it blew his cover as it was obvious that having a visitor was not a common occurance with them.
I get mixed signals and I have way more questions than answers. But we spent 5 nights together. We were even commenting that it will be difficult to sleep now.
Even as I am typing this, he sent me a page to have a great day!
Appologies for this being so long. thanks for stopping by and any thoughts, comments, whacking are always welcome! It all helps everyone gather more information for our journey.
. Then to sleep. VERY nice 
