You know, this stuff really works, I have been through hell and back and there was times I tough it wouldn't be possible to get in a better place with all my tormented feelings.
But, the more I forced myself to believe in the whole detachment, becoming a better person w or w/t H and moving on with my life, getting some activities going, the more I am feeling happier.
I am far from a good job here, there is lots of things I want to fix on myself and I am actually working towards it. But I feel pretty proud for the things I have accomplished.
Today I can say that I really would like my M to be restore and it will still hurts if we D. But something inside me is changing and I feel that I will be OK it the D happen. I am starting feeling that I will be in peace with myself and move on.
LOVE IS ALSO TO SET IF FREE...
You are doing great, even if it feels you are always falling apart. Give yourself time, be patient with your pain and feelings. You are hurting now, grieving the loss. You feel guilt and angry, all these mixed up inside of you. It's not easy, so give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up.
Holidays are the worse. It brings a lot of memories and makes a mess in our brains and hearts.
My pastor was talking about the whole XMas miracles this past weekend and one thing he said is that we need to put not only our faith in God's hands, but also our pain, let him heal what is broken. You don't know the path he chose for you, but if it is beside your W, then he will heal your R.
You are luck to have parents to visit and spend this time together. It's probably wonderful for your kids. Enjoy it! You will still feel the pain inside, but put your best face and behavior forward and soon you will start believing you can do this more often.
