I'm going to add something to this discussion-maybe for future reference. Childbirth is my area of expertise.

The father of the baby is not always the best birth support. They're thrown into a monumental, life-changing situation for which they have absolutely no experience or frame of reference. Doesn't make them bad Hs or dads, anyone might flounder when faced with a scary, unfamiliar process over which they have no control that goes on for hours. It's grueling and can be detrimental to the R.

Having a great woman friend or relative who can be a support and strength to the whole family can make all the difference. It probably shouldn't be the mother who stands around with a worried expression on her face. There are also doulas, not the goofy type you see on sitcoms, who do amazing work and take the pressure off the H and the mama.

About being "grumpy" and "rude" during labor, most women are at some point in labor more scared than they've ever been, so an H who can't handle a bit of grumpiness definitely should excuse himself to regroup and not bring it up later. Relationship difficulties that are already existing can be intensified during labor but so can strengths.

Childbirth is so much more than the physical process. We don't give it its due.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss