Riding the rollercoaster

[dawgy]

At this stage of the game I do want her to move out . Ive held things together long enough . Now is my time . She will have to live with the horror of destroying her family while I try to rebuild and make my boys feel like they are in a family again . I need to start looking for someone new . There are many lonely women out there that would like to come into a sitch like mine and step in as a mother and wife as long as it is indeed over between us . And truthfully I stll love her but have come to realize that she doesnt love me so its time to face the music . My heart aches for my sons to have to live with this reality she created . Im gonna hold tight till xmas is over and in the new year I will set them down and tell the story . Sadly I know last minute shes gonna chicken out and ask me not to and likely tell me she wants to start again but its too late . Ive given all I can without losing my soul completely .I ve got to say that the respect that ive lost for her is the most painful part . When i look at her now I feel pity and I worry about what will become of her . And my heart aches for the girl she once was . Dawgy