Well I took the advice of Ellie and last week sent H some suggestive pages in the middle of the night. In the morning he paged me back asking if I was coming up that weekend. I couldn't because I was going to be out of town. He said he was bummed.
Later in the day I keep thinking about going to see him and I could rearrange my schedule. I ask him if he is still up for a visitor, but he says that he has to work.
On Friday, when I am out of town, he calls me to make sure that we (my son and me) got there ok. We were at dinner so I told him that I would call him on Sat. He said NO, I'll be working so we'll talk on Monday. That sent red flags off in my head. He works during the week and we talk, so what is different about the weekend??
That stewed in my little brain all night and mixed with my PMS hormones not making a good recipe. In the morning I called, his phone was off and left a vm that I know he was working but had a question for him. Could I let it go at that?? NO... I also sent him a page with the same message. He did call me back shortly after and was very short. Asking what I wanted. What my question was. Well my question is what is the difference? He just said he was working and he was calling me now as I requested. H was not happy, I was not happy.
I do not like going to that dark cavern that is filled with the muck of my run away thoughts. Of course I am thinking the reason he cannot call me on the weekend is that he is with someone. Why do I even go to that place in my mind? What is the appeal of that? It makes ME feel bad, not to mention it does NOTHING for my situation. It would be like going to the dentist for a root canal over and over and over. Why would you do that? Why would you ever want to?
H did call me on Moday and I was out of Muckville and in a much happier place. (Thank you Holding!) We had a nice conversation about some houses he is looking at in Seattle.
He called me yesterday morning because he was going to be in CA yesterday. He told me when his plane was getting in and we had plans to meet at a hotel.
His flight didn't get in until 9:30pm, but about 6:00pm he sends me a page saying: "I'm excited!" WOW H shared feelings with me! We met at the hotel and it was WONDERFUL!
In the night I recieved several pages regarding some computer maintance that was happening at my work. They were informational pages, not something that I had to respond to. I knew it was happening so I didn't even have my pager near the bed. Early in the morning it was giving little beeps because I had unread pages. H said, Someone sure is trying to get a hold of you. I got my pager and showed him what they were and breifly explained what goes on with the systems. Then I brought up the page he had sent me saying he was excited and said, Now THIS page was SOOO nice and made my day! Thank you for sending this!
He will be in the area for the rest of the week. It is up in the air if we will see each other tonight or not. He has a meeting about 2 hours away and might just stay there instead of driving back here. Tomorrow he said he will be about an hour away. I asked if he wanted me to come down there after work. "No, he will be working" WTF is up with that? Where he is staying is close to where "exOW" lives. More red flags in my head. The door is open in Muckville, but I am still standing in LaurieLand for the moment.
He just called me a few minutes ago to see if I made it safely to work. We are having terrible rain/wind storm here. That was nice! He said he would call me later today.
Baby steps, slowleee, stay away from Muckville....
He told me when his plane was getting in and we had plans to meet at a hotel. 
That was nice! He said he would call me later today. 
