New, looking for help. WAW won't communicate.

[okjpc]

Thank you, Pink. Detachment is very elusive. I let go a bit, I cling a bit tighter, I let go a bit, etc. I'm realizing I had Christmas in my mind as some kind of arbitrary deadline for the S. Like if I don't hear from her by Christmas, it means the M is over. I don't know when or how that became fixed, but I'm seeing that today. Maybe from too many shows as a kid about Christmas miracles? Everything is possible on Christmas, right? Broken Rs get mended, families get reunited, people wake up to what is most important in their lives, it all turns out merry and bright.

My kids and I just arrived at my mom's house (in the city where I have the job possibility). I just printed out an AA schedule and may try to hit a meeting tonight and/or tomorrow morning. There should be plenty to do this week to keep my mind off the W. But the grief feels just below the skin and just behind the eyes today.

But thanks, Pink, for your straight talk and encouragement. I post here every day or two and don't get a lot of replies. I don't think about it much, but I do appreciate the feedback. And I'm gonna detach, detach, detach.