Jim-- at the moment, and for a while after I couldn't understand. But I get it--i really do.
Apparently my father was becoming really belligerent with the nurses who were not allowing any of our parents to stay in the maternity ward. My H was embarrassed and was trying to manage that situation-- by this point it was probably midnight. It was a long day for everyone.
And... after D was born,, H stayed with me for a couple of hours (till 6 am...then went home to get some rest before closing on our home later that afternoon all by himself. Then, he came back to the hospital 12 hours after he left. We looked at each other and said, "it's still today! How can that be?!" It was really crazy. What a stressful time for everyone.
I wish he had been able to say something like, "I know I was a little short with you--this was a super stressful day, and I am so so so proud of you! You did amazing under tough circumstances." Some words of affirmation would have erased everything I think. But I don't remember those. Does that mean he never said it? Who knows. I remember other things he said and did (or didn't say and didn't do).
We never really talked about it.
Doesn't look like we ever will. I'm accepting that, but this day still brings up strong emotions.
