Jim0987 #7 - rebuilding but can't tell what it is

[jim0987]

Its difficult to know how much was my codependency/nice guy stuff and how much was my wife actually being really withdrawn.

Either way I didn't 'feel' like she wanted me. I put it down to the pressures of kids and other stuff but I realise now its that we had lost that connection that a relationship needs to survive. Both of us I think put the emphasis on the other one to fix it (I know I did).

The fact that now she definitely doesn't want me and wants someone else is just the culmination of pain I've been feeling for years.