Well if your tired of the status quo and there really is no positive change you are allowed to change things up a little and see what happens.
As long as you are aware and prepared for things to potentially change in a bad way.
Thanks Jack. Ha, something may change in a bad way? What worse could happen? W is on the verge of forcing the divorce after the New Year, and we've been separated for a year and a half. What can get worse in this picture?
Thanks for letting me get that out. I have a surgery scheduled for tomorrow. A simple carpel tunnell surgery that should take as long as waiting for a premium sandwich in some places (10 minute surgery.) So let's see if this will go well. I've told d18, but no one else in the family except for my Mom.
Ok, I need to smile today. Here is a lawyer joke for everyone:
The Hundred-Dollar Bill.
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill laying in the street. Who gets it?
The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
My carpal tunnel surgery earlier this afternoon went well. So I called my W to see if she would be willing to drop off s13 after school at my place, as I was feeling a bit queasy.
W was mad in her response, I caught her off guard as she did not know I had the surgery. For the first time in a while she fought with me. She said that no, s13 would stay with her tonight. I told her I was fine, just a bit woozy after the surgery. But she insisted, and I responded that I love my son and I want to spend this whole weekend with him.
W just dropped off s13. I sent W a text thanking her. Why can't I win more important fights, like for our marriage with her?
Maybe because it isn't that kind of fight. She knows you are waiting, she knows she is totally in control. She doesn't have to fight.
So that isn't too much fun is it? What are you going to do to shift the control? Maybe that isn't really the idea. Maybe the goal is for you to take control of what you can...you. I know that you can feel helpless the way things are now. I know that I did. I must sound like I am beating a dead horse, but really, make your life what you want. You can't make other people be in that life but you can make it special for all of those that choose to share your life with you.
Merry Christmas Tom.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I know that 2015 is going to be different. I expect to have my neck brace and hand wrap off on New Year's Eve, so I am looking forward to a healthier New Year. And with a bit more money I also look forward to the freedom to do more outside activities. In other words, to make my life more of the way I want it - just like Dr. Kat suggests.
Why can't I win more important fights, like for our marriage with her?
Kat's right. It's because you can only control YOU. Once you know that, things will be different (by know, I mean internalize it and embrace it.)
Merry Christmas!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Merry Christmas to everyone. I went to Church with my M & D, and had a traditional oyster stew meal at M & D's house, with sister, brother, their spouses and 2 of their kids and spouses.
I felt crummy all day, I was able to scrape up enough $ to buy last minute gifts for s13 and d17, but the stress of battling the store crowds got to me. But with the family I did a good job of keeping the conversations focused on others, and not emotionally vomiting on everyone else.
One item did get to me - my Dad has taken a lot of Christmas pictures over the years, and he played the pictures on a loop where we were all sitting. And it was great to see how everyone has changed over the years, great pics of our kids. But the were several pics of my W and I. After 2 hours of this, I finally snapped at my brother to close the laptop - enough. My only raw moment of emotion today.
I just got a text from W wishing me a Merry Christmas. I responded "Merry Christmas right back at you", and then discussed when I would pick up kids tomorrow. W said that she is having "friends come in from out of town", and that she wants both kids to spend Christmas and the day after overnight with me. I am looking forward to spending time with the kids, and I don't care what W's plans are. I got a good 2 player video game for s13, and I'm planning on opening a can of whoop b*tt on him. Peace and God's strength to all.
Peace and God's strength to all.