I had some GAL activities this weekend, on friday I went to a nice hotel here in Boulder with some brazilian friends. We dance samba for about 2 hours and it was the best.
There were some guys that came over and talk, but I was not into this kind of stuff. I just want to dance and be with my friends. I can't even think about other guy, it's repulsive right now.
I was kind of sad, thinking I should have done this kind of going out and have fun with my H. This was something missing in our M.
But then I think that things were not so easy back a year ago. During this exactly time a year ago my older son tried suicide a few times.
Today I am going to church with a friend and hope to sing out loud and be happy with my faith.
Hope you get better, it's always awful to get such bug that last so long. It takes all your energy away. You will have a better PMA once the bug is gone. Your energy will be back and you will feel like doing more stuff. Give yourself time to heal well.
About your H, it's really weird that he does not talk to you. He is a mess, is not taking care of his issues and is already finding someone else. He is not going to have a good R with this OP. We need to solve out problems before jumping into another R and he is really messing up here since he didn't even talk to you yet.
Yes, this time of the year is very hard. It's not going to be easy, but then I think it is also an opportunity for my H to enjoy family once again.
The OW is coming to US from France at the beginning of Jan/15 for the big sales meeting, there will be a lot of time for him to spend with her. I am not very sure of what is going on with them, sometimes I have the impression that he has some going on with her but not really a formal R. Back in july he said that he had feelings for someone and he thought the person also had feelings for him.
Maybe that's why he didn't serve me with papers yet. He is checking his chances and if it doesn't work he thinks he can always come back. I won't say that it is not possible because I would like to be back with him. But the road will be very long for us to get somewhere. We will need to build a whole new R/M if that happen one day.
But for now I think it is almost impossible, with talks about financial, house, I am thinking that D is on the table and that is the direction our M will take.
It makes me sad but then I think that there were many things on him that I really did not like. Many times I really want to be far away from him.
We will see, he wants to make it all friendly and easy on him. I don't hold too much grudge, but I know I was not the one running away and having an affair, it was him and now he needs to deal with the consequences.
I think he saw a L and was told things do not look good for him financially and that's why he needs to get my best side. I won't take what is not fair, but the law is clear about my rights and I will do whatever is necessary to get it.
I won't make it easy for him. If you want your adventures then pay for it. Be a man and face the consequences.
It's amazing how love can become something else, I love him with my heart and I despise him with my brain.
Take care, and keep eating, sleeping, taking fluids, medication and hope the bug will be in the past as well.
