Wife's Still a Lesbian

[essjay]

So it's six months to the day since the BD.
The day my life changed.

This last week has been particularly hard. My birthday and Christmas coming up.
Always used to take the day off around my birthday, go Christmas shopping and have a nice lunch somewhere.

Our daughters took a day off this year and just the three of us went for lunch, their idea! I really enjoyed it, their company, the lunch etc.
But I also really miss my wife too....

One thing I've found recently, I've become cold with her. I think it's subconscious as I only realised it on reflection. Opening a present from my D I had my back to my wife all the time and was only engaging in conversation with my D. It's the way she's been treating me. Any others experienced that?

Nothing has changed in the situation.
After all thats happened, and crazy as it seems I still love my wife and want her back with our family. Sometimes though I'm angry at what she's done to us. Even more so now at this time of year.
Can you love and hate someone at the same time?
Maybe hate is too strong a word.

We're having Christmas as a family, so I need to be careful about all our interactions. I want this to be a fun time with good memories of family time together. It's the only way.
I'm trying to be positive and keeping going.
Would be nice to have some sign of encouragement though, however small.
It's been a very long and emotional six months.