ins, these are not rules but guidelines. Not all of them will apply to all of us, if what you are doing does not work, try a new approach, do a 180. For example NC does not work with my H because H claims I was distant during M with him. So detatchment was better.
Ins, this is an important letter and thank you for sharing with us, it tells us so much about you and describes exactly how you feel. Beautifully written too.
For my perspective, I would like you to forgive yourself and let go. Nothing you could have done or said excuses W wayward behaviour. That is her own choice and whilst each of us contributes to our sitches with our actions, the growth in improving our minds and lives will ensure we move on and develop new and better behaviours and thoughts. I am very sure this will be Ins, as for one so young your insights are truly remarkable.
No one makes another person happy enough, they do this for themselves, all we can do for another is to provide the environment for change, growth and love. It is not our job to make another happy.
You are spot on, the past can not change, we can not undo a single thing we did, unsay a single thing we said, the past is the past and it is gone. Truly your old M is gone, if W and Ins begin to piece their relationship back together (and I really want that for you and your lovely S). Then a new better M will be in the making. Take care Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/21/1409:03 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
