Barrybran - A Year On

[Barrybran]

I don't post for a month and I have a couple in a couple of days again. I've had an interesting day today. I started sorting through items in the house to make things easier when it comes time to move. I found a few sentimental items from my wife and kids and other things sparked some positive memories. It was pleasant but bittersweet. It left me looking forward to seeing my wife and kids later in the day.

So much for that! There was no sign of my wife or kids after lunch so I went to the shops to grab a couple of things and they were home by the time I got back. My wife didn't acknowledge my presence, only spoke to me when we were sorting out Christmas presents and then bailed me up over things family members have said to her that I supposedly said (that were misinterpretations or straight out lies). I was pissed off and told my wife that the information she received was false, clarified what I had in fact said, re-clarified what I'd told my wife of our current situation regarding the kids. I also told her that I had made many mistakes in our time together, learned my lessons and that I was trying to rebuild relationships, not tear them apart again.

Currently, I am waiting for government support to be approved before I start looking for a house and work in my wife's town. I've told my wife that I won't sacrifice my relationship with my kids and that neither the kids nor I will be moving until I'm confident that I will be able to support myself in the new town. I am aiming to move in late January in time for the start of the new school year but am prepared to wait until Easter if need be.

Somehow, this got twisted into a guaranteed move or me sending the kids to my wife while I stayed here. I was livid when I heard the second part, especially as I told my wife very assertively that I would not be sending the kids to my wife's town without me as it would transfer my wife's problems (missing the kids) onto me. My wife didn't have much to say about that and neither did I after that.

Later, she washed her car while I sat inside. I decided to go and help her because I don't want to be petty. I'm not going to stoop to everyone else's level. I've made my mistakes in the past and I'm determined to be a bigger, stronger person moving forward. While I was out there, my wife was being rude to me and I called her out on it. She wasn't impressed but she started speaking to me more nicely. I'm not going to put up with substandard behaviour towards me anymore. We both accepted far too much negative behaviour towards each other and there's no need for it. I am going to treat her more respectfully, as she deserves, and I expect the same in return.

My wife is heading home again now so it's just the kids and I for the afternoon and the next couple of days. Christmas was aready going to be awkward enough and now it's just going to be downright uncomfortable. I know I screwed up but I'm over the negative behaviour from her and everyone else.

All in all, I stand by my decision to recommit to my family. My wife may not want to be a part of it right now and that's her decision. I know I'll be fine whatever the outcome but I do hope that my wife comes around eventually. Right now, I just want to get to the new town and start my new life.