Christmas is a b*tch. I have not been around here long, so take my advice for what it is, but re: caroling, you told her where you were going and invited her to call based on her plans. I think that's good enough. Let her ask you if she can come. If she doesn't, I'm sure the thought of you taking the kids to do caroling would impress her and hopefully, make her see what she's missing.
Me: 39 W: 46 D: 7.5 S: 5 SD: 16 SS: 12 T: 2 (06/2012) M: 2 (12/2012) Separation 09/2014. No talks of D yet. No communication since 10/3/2014