Continuing DBing after the affair

[PeterV2]

Zew, I see what you're saying, but I think by me changing my thought patterns regarding trust/suspicion the vibes I give off will have a tendency to help her be more transparent.

If I insist that she be transparent before I trust her, that's a very controlling stance. Like they say, fake it 'til you make it.

It's more my own imagination that I'm trying to counteract. My W is just trying to regain her sense of self. Every day our interactions are becoming better. We're laughing a lot together. She calls me regularly just to talk or tell me something funny. I don't start any R talks. I'm not giving any pressure. I'm speaking her LLs.

One of her LLs is words of affirmation. When she came into the kitchen today I looked at her and said, "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and I just love you." It just sort of came out, really easy and she said thanks and smiled. I haven't said the ILY very much recently and this just came out naturally and with no pressure or looking for an ILY back. She took it in and felt good about it.

We're talking about spending Christmas day together cooking, which is something we both enjoy. No family or friends - just the two of us. Her suggestion, not mine. I said I was game.