Married fast? Too late? Completely stuck :/

[Complex]

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It is an awful feeling to be discarded by someone you love.

What things are you doing for yourself? You really need to focus on your own life and yourself right now. You can't control her actions or feelings.

Also, if she sees someone desperate to have her, that will just push her further away. Remember what you were like and the things you were doing when you and her first fell in love. What things do you different now?

I do a lot of research. Not only about my issues but about myself too. Soul searching a lot right now. I go see friends, go out a little bit. Work out more and getting more into work. Planning on visiting some work related seminars and classes and just try to continue my new life. Like I said I left my country and life for her but I'm back home right now and I'm convinced I want to stay in the US no matter what. It's my home now and I like it there.
I'm still the same person in general but back then I was more of a free spirit doing what I like. I actually played poker professionally and that allowede to move to the U.S. and then she loved me for who I truly am/was. I always was a very truthful and authentic person I think. Then I slowly moved into regular jobs and work since a year now. I enjoy it and I did it so I can build a normal life, to be mote secure and provide stability for my family. It was a transition and maybe I was too stressed in general this year. We also didn't have much time to take care of our relationship. It felt like life really ran us over this year with work and then the stress of buying a house.
There actually was someone at work that she liked before she met me (nothing ever happened). She told me she talked to him at work and started to have some sort of feelings for him. That's how she dropped the bomb by telling me.
I was crushed and she assured me she will cut the contact to work related things. They don't see each other much at work. But I guess he's still around. I'm absolutely sure she doesn't see him besides work and that she got over the idea of him because she does have the morale to not cheat on me. She assured me a couple of times he isn't actually the problem, he just triggered to dig a little deeper within herself and what she wants and that her feelings are gone. I trust her but I'm not sure what feelings or thoughts there are left. I wanted to confront her with it again and tell her I'm ok with the separation but I want to know if that guy is still in the picture and that we should open up our feelings to be fair to each other.
Just now she told me we misses me today bc she's with her family celebrating Christmas. I didn't respond to that comment.