Old dog seeks new trick 6

[gan]

Is it allowed? I don't want to though. I'm afraid of falling back into the habit.

What's the alternative? Bottling it up? I think a little wallowing from time to time is ok provided you know you can pull yourself out of it. If you feel like you can't then it's time to get help. I'm generally doing ok but I still have moments where I feel like I am walking a very thin line between sadness and despair. I'm not sure if it is the mindfulness practice or what, but I seem to be getting better at noticing these moments and making a conscious decision not to go there.

I think it's just Xmas, and Grinch wife ruining it by taking the kids away on Boxing Day without me and then allocating me New Years Eve with them while she does off to have fun with her mad friend again.

Sounds like you've got some planning to do then. What are you going to do with the kids on NYE? Give them (and you) a NYE to remember. Forget that W is off doing her thing. You are doing your thing too - and its gonna be awesome!

Not seeing an IC at the moment. I'm supposed to be hooked up with one soon through the NHS. They tried to arrange the first session a few weeks ago, but I couldn't make that day and they haven't called back yet. I wish they would.

OK good. Follow up on this.

Old Dog, in reading through your posts I get the impression that your emotions are going up and down even while things at home aren't really changing. If I understand, your W hasn't made a faster move for the door or filed or anything. She's saying the relationship has run it's course but is not doing anything to truly end it (forgive me if I've missed some posts that say otherwise). If an IC can help you get to a bit more of a stable place then I think it would be good for your own sanity and your sitch. If you oozed a bit more confidence and became a man of mystery, doing your own things (for you) then I think she would start to question her thinking. Especially if you started wearing white shirts and white trousers like we discussed ;-) More seriously though, talk to an IC and try to work through your emotions. I think they are holding you back a bit.