Elsa in Piecing (knock on wood)

[Mozza]

Elsa: One way to make a more believable apology is to start by paraphrasing what your H said, describing his hurt. It's like validating, but even closer to the original thought.

"When I went to see my parents in another state, you felt I didn't invite you because I wasn't proud of you or I never expected our relationship to last. You felt alone during that time and I didn't even contact you while I was there, making you feel even more like I wasn't there for you."

I'm making this up, but you see that it goes much further than "I'm sorry for making you feel bad when I went to visit my parents. It was not my intention." You need to give the other person the absolute conviction that you've heard them.