But the last two weeks I've been full of self-loathing, I feel inadequate, ugly, unwanted, rejected. I guessed these feelings are normal after finding out your W wants a divorce, but I think I'm having an especially hard time because I really did become my dad. I'm not an alcoholic, but my W doesn't love me, just like my mom didn't love my dad even though they never got a D. I thought I'd been full of self-worth for my whole life. I thought I was a "catch", and I was content in our M. But was I depending on my W's acceptance of me to make me feel like that?
I feel the same inadequacy, of course. I guess we all do.
What made a difference for me was to meet several friends and family members who really believe in me, who find me interesting and attractive. It gave me a boost which carried me for a few days and probably spared me a few lows.
I really like Zed's idea: try to make someone happy. I do it with my kids, but I'm going to try it with more people. It's nice already to take the focus off of myself.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
