Angry WAH blames me for everything.......(2)

[Calibri]

A few questions about his whole episode,

Why? I thought you were in NC or going dark.

I thought I was too. And then he started initiating conversations. I actually hadn't had time to post it yet, but he had sent me a message saying that he was feeling better and was interested in talking and told me that he had realized that most of his anger he had misdirected at me. He told me that, I didn't "ruin him" like he had thought, and that he had ruined himself by not speaking up when things bothered him and that a lot of the things he blamed me for were actually his problems. And apologized. After the combo was over he said he felt it was a good talk and felt that it was one of many that we should be having.

So, perhaps foolishly, I took his conversation and expressed desire to talk more as an invitation.

Also, thinking back, he mentioned in MC that he hot pissed off and hurt when I gave him the silent treatment. So that + the above and I thought not going NC would be a good thing.

Do you see why going dark might be helpful?

Oh yes. Trust me, I didn't even want to post about the convo I had, but I made myself do it got accountability, humility, and as an opportunity the right way to show vulnerability vs. an verbally emotional dump via text message.

Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?

Your need to control this is really strong.

I want to be happy. I've always been honest with my H. That's why I initially told him how I felt. I didn't equate my honesty at the time with control. Looking back, I can see why it's perceived as such.

I'm not trying to be a smart ass, it's a legit question. But the only way I see (from my viewpoint) of not being controlling is to basically stfu and not do anything?

I'm honestly struggling with this.