Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #1

[HPoirot]

Was just reading very insightful words from Vanilla on another thread. Words from the point of view of the WAW. I've known almost since the beginning of this sitch the importance of accepting my W as she is right now... not to try to change her or challenge her... to somehow validate her as she is without judgement. To validate her feelings and put mine on the shelf.

She texts me to say she bought S11 some presents and, if I wanted them to be from me, I can pay her back. I say "No thank you I'll buy him my own gifts."

Then she texts me "And the computer?" She knows I'll buy him a new computer as I've told her a number of times already.

Then she sends me a text... "HP we have to talk. We can't do this in front of S11. We must communicate. Please."

I'm remembering all the amazing advice I've received in just this thread alone about how to respond to her. Just text "What is it?" and leave it to her to explain herself. Don't make a big deal about it. Don't be surprised or outraged or otherwise moved by anything she says or does. Everyone here has said it again and again she's just wants to regain control and in her mind make me the bad bitter one b/c I won't play happy family with my wayward W. Just accept it and keep moving.

Don't let my guilt or mind reading get in my way. It will be like this many days with W for a while. I'm Clint Eastwood. Dirty Harry. No problem. No need to ignore her. Dispassionately listen, translate the real request, dismiss the rest, be nice and professional in my response, move on.

Nothing else to do.

I'm going to go for a walk in the woods.