I thought everything was okay...(Part 2)

[MCS]

Vanilla,

MCS is picking his jaw up from the ground and crying his eyes out right now. You said some of the exact things she said to me. So its easier for me if I talk to Vanilla as I would love to talk with my W.......

I understand what you are saying here, but I don't understand 'why' you are saying it. That's what I don't get, why do you feel that way. I'm not trying to judge, I really am not. How do I show acceptance about things, yet still actively participate in working things out; accept things but still have the opportunity to voice my concerns. How do we have open communication? I never meant to judge you. I've always seen you as my equal in life, we complelented each other. I thought we would talk about things and come to a consensus together. We used to do that before kids and life caught up with us and I don't know what changed that we can't don't it anymore. I don't want to do that anymore if that makes you unhappy. I want you to be happy, I want you to be comfortable. What can I do to help you feel that way?

__________________

Wow, just wow Vanilla. It stings, because for the first time I can see someone in my wife's shoes. I never thought she felt this way until after she left and it is so painful seeing someone else feel that way to. What can I do now about it.

What happened to you, Vanilla that you didn't become a WAW?

How do I change this?

I think I did okay with W the last couple days, but I'm struggling with discussing arrangements about kids with W. I'm deeply hurt with what she did to the kids and I'm trying to balance that out with her desires for what she wants with them. I don't agree, but I'm scared to tell he that because of how she's been feeling throughout this, just like you have above. How do we have that conversation and me discuss my feelings about the kids and not show judgement?

Vanilla, thank you so much for this....please help me change